The Top Ten Pranks of NEST!
by Tatyana Witwicky
Summary: You are not an Honorary Member of NEST unless you are pranked...! Be prepared for bodily injury and confusing conundrums...featuring my OC Tatyana Witwicky/Prime!
1. Chapter 1

The top ten pranks of NEST!

I was watching a show with my Dad when these popped into my head!

Enjoy!

I only own Tai and Sparrow!

xx

The Top 10 pranks of NEST!

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10. The water/flour incident.

Sam was easy to prank. Tai was hard to prank. That was the general rule of the two Witwicky teens. But Sam wanted revenge, he wanted to get her back for all the pranks she pulled on him and embarrassed him in front of the Autobot's and the NEST soldiers. And he knew just who to recruit. Her own sparkmate.

'Jazz, I need your help, it is crucially important.' He asked one evening.

'Yeah sure, lil' Dude, what's up?' The Silver mech asked.

'I need to prank your wife.' The human said simply, causing Jazz to raise an optic ridge.

'May I ask why?' He asked carefully.

'I just need to prank her to make me feel better!' Sam exclaimed, clenching his fists tightly. Jazz held up his servos.

'Okay, okay, alright, alright, I'll help you!' He then lifted his visor and glared slightly. 'But if I don't get any for the rest of my life because of this, I'm blaming you!'

Sam rubbed his palms together. 'I will gladly the blame for this.'

(Fifteen minutes later)

Optimus was confused.

'What are you two doing?' He asked, making Sam and Jazz jump slightly.

'Well, Optimus, I am about to prank your daughter.' Sam was very blunt about it. The Leader rose an optic ridge. 'May I ask why?'

'Revenge.' Sam ground out. The sound of Barricade's door slamming, him transforming, then the sound of Tai's converse on the concrete. 'okay, she's here..Jazz, your call.'

Jazz couldn't help but snicker slightly. 'Hey, baby, could you come here?'

'Sure!' She called back. Sam smirked up at Leo and Miles, who were holding buckets of water.

As soon as she walked in, Sam waved his hand, which was the signal. The next thing Tai knew, she screamed rather loudly as she felt freezing cold water being poured on her. As if that wasn't enough, Optimus watched as Sam ran forward and poured a bag of white flour all over his soaking wet daughter.

Tai just stood there in shock as Sam, Jazz, Leo, and Miles roared with laughter. Being the good pranking sport that she was, she too started laughing a few minutes later, flikcing the flour encrusted water off of her arms.

'Now, that was a good one!' She laughed out loud, spitting out a clump of flour that got in her mouth. 'You, sir, have my respect.' She bowed before him. 'The student has surpassed the teacher, young grasshopper.'

Sam grinned triumphantly. 'That was pretty rad, if I may say so myself.'

'Please, don't be mad at me, babe, he made me do it.' Jazz was pleading with her.

'Don't worry, Jazzy, I'm not mad!' She grinned as the silver mech kneeled down far enough and she kissed his cheek plate.

'Sweetheart, you should go get cleaned up.' Optimus chuckled slightly, finding this very amusing.

'Oh I will, but first...' She turned to Sam with a mischievous grin. Sam's eyes widened slightly. 'Sam...who wants a big, wet victory hug?'

'You stay away from me!' sam exclaimed, backing away as she started towards him, her arms opened wide. 'Get away!'

'No, you deserve a hug for your prank, c'mere!' She then proceeded to chase Sam around the room, around her Dad's feet, and around the furniture. She slipped and fell a few times but she kept getting back up and continued to chase him.

'Tai, stay away! These are nice clothes, dude!' Just as he said that, she pounced on him from behind. She rubbed her face on the side of his, causing most of the chunky flour to come off on his face.

'This doesn't feel like a victory.' Sam whimpered.

'Of course, you know what I have to do.' Tai said, getting off of him and shaking her head, trying to get the drying flour chunks out.

'I'm gonna have to get you back, dude.' With a sweet smile, she sauntered out of the room.

'Nice knowing ya, pal.' Miles muttered.

xxx

Chapter one done!  
Woooooot!

Review for prank ideas!


	2. Chapter 2

This one was to good to not write down!

This one I got off of Wildboys!

Poor Sam and Leo! XD

Onward!

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The top Ten pranks of NEST.

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9. What's the capital of Thailand?

x

'Okay, so...why are we asking them these again?' Leo asked for the fifth time.

'Because it's educational and not to mention, I enjoy testing them randomly, dude...you should know that by now!' Tatyana Witwicky, who appeared to be wearing a baggy black cardigan sweater, a black and white striped long sleeved shirt, and skinny jeans due to the cold weather along with her skull littered converse, sounded offended.

'Yeah, god Leo, get with the program!' Sam teased.

'Hey Dad, Ratchet, Ironhide...can I ask you guys something?' Tai asked in an innocent tone. The three Bots turned to face her.

'Yes, sweetheart, what can we do for you?' Optimus asked fondly. He couldn't help but feel proud and important whenever his daughter wanted to ask him something.

'I actually have a little quiz to give you guys about capitals and whatnot!' The girl exclaimed, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

'Capitals and whatnot?' Ironhide asked. 'What sort of nonsense is this?'

'Typical Tai nonsense, Ironhide, just go with it.' Sam sighed out, crossing his arms while Leo put his hands in his pockets.

'He's got you there.' Ratchet smirked in his direction. 'Alright, Tatyana, go ahead.'

'Great!' Tai clapped her hands together. 'Okay question one, what's the capital of Arizona?'

'Phoenix.' Optimus answered.

'Figured he'd get it.' Leo muttered to Sam. Tai growled lightly, which shut him up immediatley.

'Question to, what the capital of Wyoming?'

Ironhide rolled his optics. 'Shyanne...'

'Awesome! Alright, last question...what's the capital of Thailand?'

But before any of the Bot's could answer, Tai answered for them.

'BANGKOK!' She exclaimed loudly, clenching her hands into fists and bringing them down with lightening speed, whacking the two unsuspecting boys in the nether regions.

Their facial expressions went from shock to horror to pain in a matter of seconds. Leo's face was pale white as he fell onto his hands and knees as he curled up on the ground. Sam was whimpering very loudly as he curled on his side, burying his pain ridden face in his knee's Tai looked incredibly smug as she glanced up at the shocked faces of the Bot's.

'And that gentlebots, is the classic 'Capital of Thailand' prank..rather popular on MTV...' She then walked away, swaying slightly to a tune in her head. Optimus, Ironhide, and Ratchet watched as she walked out then back down at the two whimpering boys.

Ratchet kneeled down to examine them more closely. 'Any damage?'

'I..think...one of them...went internal..' Sam squeaked out, his voice incredibly high.

'You think you got it rough..?' Leo whimpered out. 'She hit me with her robot arm...I think one popped...'

'Sucks to be...you...' Sam curled up even more.

'Do you two require anything?' The Medbot asked again.

'No, no, no...' Sam whimpered. 'Lemme just lay here and whimper in pain...and hope I can still have children..'

Optimus pinched the bridge of his noseplate.

Oh, humans are rather delicate creatures.

xxx

Well, there you go!

Enjoy!

Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2!

I saw this one on TV and it had Sam written all over it!

Anyone reading who have male reproductive organs, may want to turn back...or continue reading, doesn't matter to me!

Enjoy!

xx

The Top Ten pranks of NEST.

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8. The log in the barral...

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Sam was paranoid.

Hey, he had every right to be...he pulled a prank on his cousin...a prank he was quite proud of. But he seemed to have over looked one thing...

The fact that she was most likely going to get him back and get him back good.

He should've seen it coming. He really should've. But he seemed to be feeling very stupid that day for some reason.

'Hey, Sammy!' Tai walked up to him and leaned against him. He tensed up slightly and glanced over at Bumblebee. The yellow mech simply shrugged. 'Wanna play a game that me and Leo set up?'

That was weird. Tai and Leo getting along without Leo trying in vain to hit on her or without Tai throwing any blunt objects at his head or any other vital area of his body? Something was afoot.

'Ummm..sure..?' He said cautiously.

'Cool!' The now black and pink haired techno-organic exclaimed excitedly. 'Come with me!' Sam whimpered as he followed his bouncing cousin as they walked (well, she skipped.) down the hallway.

Optimus, who once again felt like his processor was about to implode after yet another intense conversation with the liasion, poked his head out of his quarters when he heard his daughters excited tone.

'Hey Dad!' Tai exclaimed, screeching to a halt and waving happily. The Prime smiled and gave a little wve of his own.

'Hello sweetheart.' He greeted. 'What are you two up too?'

'I'm probably walking to my death..' Sam droned out, sounding frightened and yet, unsurprised,

'Oh you are not!' Tai argued.

'I'm about to play a game that you and Leo set up!' Sam argued back with the Techno-Organic. 'I'd be better off playing a game that Jigsaw set up!'

'You'd rather stab yourself in the stomach or stab a hole in your throat then see what your favorite cousin and roomate are up too?' Tai then gave him her famous puppy face.

'Well, when you put it that way...' Sam paused for effect then placed his hands on his cousin's shoulders. 'Yes..' he then proceeded to turn and walk away.

'Hey, Dad?' He heard her say a few seconds later. 'Did I ever tell you about the 'phase' Sam went through when we were six?'

Before she could get another word out, Sam pretty much teleported over to where she was and covered her mouth. 'You promised you'd never mention it! Alright, okay, fine! I'll do it!' He then grimaced when he felt Tai lick his palm. 'Gahhhhh!'

'Oh Blackmail...you are my best friend!' Tai giggled.

'Before I go lose my diginity...I need a favor...' Sam took a breath and then thrw himself onto Optimu's foot. 'Please, please, please! Come with me! Protect me from your daughter's evil ways of malice! I wanna live!'

Father and daughter glanced at one another blankly.

'What was that you were saying about before losing your dignity?' Tai asked with genuine curiousity.

Optimus couldn't help but wonder something as he followed he two teens outside...What exactly was that phase Sam went through as a youngling?

xx

Sam, Tai, and Optimus stepped outside to find Leo and Sunstreaker and Sideswipe waiting outside next too what appeared to be a couple of old logs and a few plastic barrels.

'Alright, I'm officially frightened!' Sam was about to leave but was stopped abruptly when Tai grabbed him by the back of the neck.

'Pictures..' She sing-songed.

Sam growled and slapped her hand away. 'I hate you and everything you stand for..'

'Oh yeah, that hurt...' She gave him a playful glare. 'Now I will tun you over to Leo and the spawns of Unicron.'

'You know, that nickname is getting old.' Sunstreaker gave the Techno-organic a sour look. Tai shrugged. 'Well then, bitch to Ratchet, he keeps calling you that.'

'Sunny, do you want death?' Sideswipe asked, giving his yellow twin a blank look.

'Not at the moment, no.' The mentioned twin mumbled. Optimus couldn't help but chuckle slightly.

'Dude, as much as that prank made my day, all I can ask is this..' Leo sighed out loud, shaking his head. 'What were thinking?'

Sam ignored his friend and proceeded to count down the seconds to his doom.

'Alright, this game is very simple.' The Lambo twins were glad Tai was explaining. Shockingly, they had nothing to do with this. They just came to watch. 'We blind fold you, and you toss this log into the box over there.' She pointed to the blue plastic container on the ground. 'Leo, would you care to demonstrate?'

By this time, Sam was starting to calm down. This game actually looked fun and challenging. Tai proceeded to tie the blind fold around Leo's eyes, who looked like he was enjoying it a little much.

'Oh brother..' Sideswipe muttered, chuckling queitly when Tai gave Leo a whack on the side of the head.

Leo then picked up the log and aimed in the direction where he believed the container to be. He then gave a small heave and the log flew from his hands and landed right in the container with a loud clunk. 'Boo-ya!' He exclaimed, holding up his hands in victory.

'And that is the short and jist of it.' Tai was literally jittery with excitement. 'Wanna try?'

Sam gave out a loud sigh and nodded. 'Sure, looks easy...and not too dangerous..'

Leo tied the blind fold around the clueless Witwicky's eyes and handed him the log. Optimus then watched as his daughter quickly and very quietly placed another log inbetween Sam and the container and then placed a long plank of wood on top of the log. She then took the container away as Sam got ready to toss it.

'Alright, you're perfect, throw!' Before anyone could warn him, Sam tossed it and it landed right on the target...the other end of the make shift see-saw.

The three mechs wicned when the plank of wood hit Sam right in the 'bad place.' The poor boy gave out a yell of pain and shock, falling onto his hands and knees.

Tai, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and Leo immediatley exploded in laughter. 'Told you I'd get you back!' Tai gasped out, tears of mirth running from both of her eye and optic. 'That was perfect! I can't believe you agreed to do it!'

Optimus knelt down beside the gasping boy. 'Sam? Are you alright?'

'I'm...fine...' He squeaked out. 'Ah...my balls...' He then buried his face in the grass, his free hand supporting himself as he tried to tough out through the pain.

He may have lost the battle.

But he was soo gonna win the War!

xx

Prank numero three!

Poor Sam!

Bwahahaha!

Review!


	4. Chapter 4

I was watching Jackass with the boyfriend, and one stunt that really made me laugh inspired me!

Face it, you can totally see my OC and Sam doing this!

This isn't really a prank, just something stupid and dangerous!

Enjoy!

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7. The Gauntlet

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Optimus Prime knew for a fact that his daughter can get into some trouble. Along with Sam and their friends.

But this was just ridiculous.

'Are you sure this is safe?' He asked as he watched Tatyana and Sam hang what appeared to be rather heavy sand bags fromt he ceiling, with help from their guardians.

'Oh sure, Dad!' Tai called down. 'Perfectly safe! We Witwicky's can take a hit better then anybody!'

'And with you being part Prime, this shall be epically amazing!'

Barricade grumbled. 'If this is going, where I think it's going...then I say go for it..' He then got a way too excited look on his face. 'This I gotta see.'

'You would!' Tai laughed, giving her guardian a swift kick on the top of the head. 'This is our partnership...3% fighting and 97% you laughing while I could possibly injure myself..'

'You got it sister.' The Ex-con rumbled.

'What is it you are doing exactly?' Optimus asked.

Tai leapt down from Barricade's shoulder. 'Something stupid and dangerous! Nothing out of the ordinary!'

'It's called the Gauntlet!' Sam called from atop Bumblebee's head.

'And it's gonna rock!' She then took a deep breath and then yelled at the top of her lungs.

'WHO WANTS TO WATCH SOME TEENAGERS GET MAIMED!'

Optimus pinched the bridge of his noseplate.

**XX**

'This is not gonna end well..' Epps muttered to Lennox, who were both holding a couple of the sand bags.

'Probably not, but it shall be much fun!' Lennox looked gleeful as he held his sand bag, literally rocking back and forth on his heels.

Miles, Leo, Sharsky and Fassbinder had decided to join in, all four them looking excited and eager. Which was either very good or very bad.

'All you boys know what to do?' Tai called from atop the half pipe that Wheeljack had constructed for her when she wanted to skateboard.

All the soldiers who were holding the bags nodded while the others who were supposed to catch the bags gave a thumbs up, laughter evident on their faces. They knew what was going on. The NEST members were all big fans of Jackass.

'How many injuries you think there will be?' Sunny asked.

Sides shrugged. 'No clue, how pissed off is Ratch gonna be?'

'Oy vey..' Both twins muttered, predictiong a wrench meteor shower of epic proportions.

'You ready!' Lennox called with excitement.

'Ready!' Tai called, positioning herself on her skateboard. Jazz, who was standing nearby with Optimus, watched in amusement and anxiety. He loved Tai very much, and he thought it was awesome that she took risks but this looked like it was gonna hurt.

'Go!' Epps yelled out. Tai then pushed off the platform and skated forward as the soldiers let go of the sand bags, causing them to swing back and forth. As she came up the middle ramp, one of the sand bags hit her right in the side while another one clocked her hard in teh arm, causing her to fly off of her board and crash onto the ground with a thud, earning gasps and laughter from everyone in the room.

'You okay!' Sam yelled in concern. She just popped right back up with a big grin and a thumbs up.

'That is so fun!' She exclaimed, sporting a rather large bruise growing on her arm by this point. Why she chose to wear a tank top was beyond anyone's understanding.

Sam then went. His was way more tramatic. One sand bag hit him smakc in the head and the other took his feet out from under him, causing him to hit the ground rather hard. Bee whired in concern, fighting the urge to rush over to help him up.

'Dude..ow...' Breakaway laughed, wincing in sympathy for the poor boy, who sat up slowly.

'Dammit, Lennox!' He snapped. 'You have to aim for my skull?'

'This is for the lizard in my boot, kiddo!' The Major snapped. 'I am having fun!'

'A little too much fun..'

Leo went next. He got it worse. He barely made it to the ramp on his board when a sand bag hit him in the side of the face, causing him to fall, which caused him to smack his hip on the edge of the ramp.

Ironhide, who was shocked at how much fun the Major seemed to be having, shook his head in disbelief.

'I will never, ever understand humans!' He sounded sort of distressed as he spoke. 'And why is Will laughing?'

'Something about a lizard in his boot...' Optimus said, his optic twitching when Tatyana took yet another swinging sand bag to the head, knocking her down with a loud yell of pain before she got back up and went back up the ramp.

'Ohh, I remember that...'

Fassbinder took a rather nasty hit to the face as did Sharsky. Those two were still incredibly nervous around the Bot's, especially Barricade and Ironhide. But they were slowly getting there with being comfortable with them.

What happened next was not planned. Tai once again was gliding down the ramp on her board when a sand bag hit her in the wrist with enough force to knock her over, and when she hit the ground, a loud popping noise could be heard.

'That didn't sound good at all...' Epps rushed down to the Techno Organic, who was sitting on the ground, holding her lower arm tightly.

'Tatyana!' Optimus rushed over to his now injured daughter and knelt down next to her. 'Are you alright?'

Even though she was smiling, her eyes gave away at how much pain she was in. Upon looking at her wrist, Optimus groaned in dismay. It was at an odd angle, which meant one thing.

'Dude, I think you broke something..' Fassbinder commented. Everyone glared.

Ratchet, who had heard the commotion, walked in and couldn't believe at how many injuries his scanners picked up. 'What in the Van Helsing happened in here?' He asked.

'Van Helsing?' Barricade asked snidely, but one look from the Autobot medic made the Ex-Con look down hurriedly. 'Shutting up.'

'The Gauntlet...' Miles squeaked out, is lip bleeding by thei point as Sam, with the help of Jazz, helped Tai to her feet.

'Please don't tell me you've been doing Jackass stunts again..' Ratchet groaned, doing a total face palm.

'Okay, we won't..' Tai smirked.

Ratchet scanned the girls wrist and grumbled. 'Broken...and since it's in your human arm...your internal repair systems won't reach it for a while...'

'Awesome, so can I get a cast?' Tai asked eagerly.

The Medical officer raised an optic ridge. 'Well, yes...'

'Can it be hot pink?' She asked eagerly, following him out of the room. 'Because that color is totally boss and cool!'

Everyone had a famous sweat drop moment.

'Has she broken anything before?' Optimus asked.

'Probably.'

'Most likely.'

'Oh yeah.'

xx

Bwahahahaha!

There you all are!

Review!


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